26. Tillie Tuesday June 15, 2021

It’s just another Tillie Tuesday,

I wish it were a snooze day,

But it’s my news day,

And just another Tillie Tuesday.

Tillie Tuesday, the school year review edition

Tillie, on guessing games

Tillie: Guess what number I’m thinking of…

Me: Okay

Tillie: I’ll give you a hint - it’s over one hundred

Me: 101

Tillie: No. Higher

Me: 107

Tillie: No. Higher

And this continues for a very long time.

Me: Tillie, please, I give up. What’s the number?

Tillie: 237,000,512.

Tillie, on bring your pet to school day

First thing Tillie said when she got off the bus:

“Was that a vision or did you actually come to Westside? Was my mother actually there? It felt like a dream.”

Tillie, reflecting on reflection

While sitting in a chair by the front door waiting for the bus, Tillie sees her double reflection in the door, showing four legs and four feet:

“Look, I evolved!”

Tillie, on measuring achievement

Me: Tillie, what was this paper all about?

Tillie: I was going to write numbers up to a hundred. It’s a failure. I failed.

Tillie, on life when Mommy’s away

(I use up the butter on her pancakes)

“There’s always not enough when Mommy’s not here.”

Tillie, on ownership rights

(Tillie played video games with her niece, Lily, on her nephew Dylan’s tablet)

“So is it like Dylan‘s account and then Lily was like a virus that took it over?”

Tillie, on making resolutions

Tillie: Lily taught me to make Kranch.

Me: What’s Kranch?

Tillie: It is Ketchup and Ranch. I resolve to put Kranch on everything I ever eat.

Tillie, on trauma

(I tried to explain the word trauma to Tillie)

“Please don’t remind me of the sadness that is still in my heart.”

Tillie, on good news and bad news

Tillie screams.

Me: What happened?

Tillie: I caught a bug.

Me: Good.

Tillie: I have bad news and good news.

Me: What’s the bad news?

Tillie: I broke off a leg.

Me: What’s the good news?

Tillie: Well, I killed a mosquito…without any bug spray.

And, finally,

Tillie, on road rage

(Another driver honked at me. I didn’t like it).

Tillie: What’s the matter, Daddy?

Me: That man made me grumpy.

Tillie: Then you are grumpy at family, you know. Because every single person on earth is your brother and sister.