47. Tillie Tuesday April 12, 2022

It’s just another Tillie Tuesday,

I wish it were a snooze day,

But it’s my news day,

And just another Tillie Tuesday.

Tillie Tuesday, the Masters Edition

Tillie, on how we choose

“Why do we like Tiger Woods again? Is it because he has a cool name?”

Tillie, on what if golf actually were a game of perfect?

“If someone got a hole in one every time they went golfing they would be a legend.”

Tillie, on why parents need to listen carefully

Tillie: At school we learned there are people who ditch other people…even their own families. And then there’s this disease you can get and you die before lunch. But this is nothing to worry about right now.

Me: That sounds interesting.

Tillie: You think it’s interesting that people should ditch their own families?

Me: Wait. What?

Tillie: At school we learned people could get sick and die before lunch.

Me: Wow. Was that in health class?

Tillie: We don’t have health class.

Me: So how did you learn this?

Tillie: It’s in a game called Oregon Trail.

Me: Oh, that’s good.

Tillie: It’s good people ditch you and you die?

Me: No, that it’s in a game.

Tillie: It’s based on real life you know.

Tillie, on moving the needle of progress

(I had to replace a smoke detector battery and the ladder stayed up for a few days).

“Is that ladder going to stay there for all eternity?”

Tillie, on telling it like it is

I told Tillie that if she complained about the pattern of sleeping we might just make the pattern that she sleeps alone every night. She said, “That’s not a pattern. That’s a straight line.”

Tillie, on what to do if two worlds collide

“Mommy, if I say something like ‘battle crush’ then I meant to say it in my head.”

Tillie, on managing expectations

“Mommy, are you doing everything in your power to make this a birthday I’ll never forget?”

Tillie, on the need for motivation

“When are we going to get on a move on?”

Tillie, on the union of Joe and Angelina

“Daddy, how was the wedding thing?”

And, finally,

Tillie, on the essence of life, love, and weddings

“Love is never in disguise.”